Title by @ScorpionTail
Ping: @ShadowKitsune85
Iron Boulder: Yeah, a partner sounds nice, but a supreme enemy you can make out with in secret sometimes sounds a lot more hardcore.
Gouging Fire: Hey, @Brute Bonnet, when you wake up you're legally obligated to agree with me.
Brute Bonnet: But I don't.....
Gouging Fire: I don't see why that should be my problem??
Iron Moth: How does one turn their emotions off?
Miraidon: Okay, so first go to settings.
Miraidon: I'm a *fricking* idiot, I thought that said emojis at first.
Iron Moth: No, I'm still willing to try this, go ahead. I'm at settings, what do I do next?
Iron Thorns: I made lightly fried fish fillets for dinner.
Raging Bolt: Iron Thorns, It’s 1:15 am, what the *frick*.
Iron Thorns: Do you want the lightly fried fish fillets or not.
Raging Bolt: Well, I mean yeah.
Iron Thorns: So come downstairs while they’re still hot.
Raging Bolt: Wait, you just made them?
Iron Thorns: Yeah, I wasn’t tired so I decided to make lightly fried fish fillets.
Raging Bolt: Say lightly fried fish fillets one more time Iron Thorns.
Sandy Shocks: Do you have a self-care routine?
Iron Leaves: "Keep going *witch*" said to myself in different accents.
*Trying to cheer Brute Bonnet after a break up*
Iron Jugulis: You broke up with them for a reason.
Brute Bonnet: I know, I know. I’m just so tired of missing them. Tired of wondering why they haven’t called. Why haven’t they called?
Koraidon: Maybe because you told them not to.
Brute Bonnet: What are you, the Memory Person?
Koraidon, sweating: Raging Bolt, there’s something I need to ask you-
Raging Bolt: Finally! You’re proposing!
Koraidon: How’d you know?
Raging Bolt: Koraidon, you’ve dropped the ring five times during dinner.
Raging Bolt: I even picked it up once.
Iron Valiant: You use humor to deflect your trauma.
Iron Hands: Awww, thanks-
Iron Valiant: That’s not a good thing.
Iron Hands: All I’m hearing is that you think I’m funny.
Iron Bundle: I can’t believe my birth certificate says F...
Iron Bundle: ...How did I fail being born?
Iron Bundle is just built different
Iron Treads: I am not an early bird or a night owl. I am some form of permanently exhausted pigeon.
Disturbing how relatable this is
Miraidon, filling out legal paperwork: Were you guys born AMAB or AFAB?Slither Wing: Bold of you to assume I was born at all.
Iron Valiant: I personally was created in a lab.
Walking Wake: I just straight up spawned lol.
Iron Crown: *lying down and crying*
Sandy Shocks: There, there. Why don’t you take some time off to not be around me while you’re like this?
Iron Moth: *Locks Gouging Fire in the car.* Act like a child, get treated like a child.
Gouging Fire: What? Isn't it illegal to leave a child locked in a car?
Iron Bundle: Are you okay?
Flutter Mane, crying: Yeah, it was just the onions.
Iron Bundle: *Picks up an onion* What the *frick* did you say to Flutter Mane?
Iron Bundle is doing their best lmao
Iron Thorns: I'm very scary.
Roaring Moon: You're about as scary as a wet kitten.
Iron Thorns: Wet kittens are cute, at least I've got that going for me.
Roaring Moon: And small.
Iron Thorns:
Iron Thorns: ...Yeah, yeah. I guess.
Koraidon: Whoa, Brute Bonnet, what’s up with that angry face?
Brute Bonnet: Gouging Fire won’t stop talking about how “Ancient Egyptians were furries”.
Gouging Fire: But they were! Just looks at all their gods-
Brute Bonnet: Oh my god, SHUT UP!
Koraidon: Hey, babe, remember how I had to go to the pharmacy to pick up my ADHD meds?
Raging Bolt: Yes?
Koraidon: Well, it turns out they're all out for the next five days.
Raging Bolt: *Frick*.
Koraidon: It's gonna be a fun week!
Raging Bolt: I'm going to Flutter Mane's house.
Koraidon: Nuh-uh. Through sickness and health, mother*frick*er.
Walking Wake: You were wise to seek help from the world's most deadly weapon.
Walking Wake: It's me.
*The Squad is on the bus, and a child is crying*
Gouging Fire: *rolls eyes to the sky*
Koraidon: *makes funny faces to get them to stop*
Great Tusk: *puts their earphones on at 100% volume*
Miraidon: *doesn't mind, doesn't bother*
Sandy Shocks: *is the reason they're crying*
Flutter Mane: *enjoys in silence*
Iron Jugulis, looking at the squad: Okay, so I need to become a therapist faster.
Iron Boulder: The risk I took was calculated but, man, am I bad at math.
Iron Hands: You know what bothers me? Bats. Why can bats fly?
Great Tusk: Not again!
Iron Hands: No. Seriously, who gave them the right? They're mammals! Mammals walk on land, no exceptions.
Slither Wing: Just wait until you hear about whales.
Iron Hands: What now?
Iron Hands could have their own podcast
Roaring Moon: What are the hardest things to say?
Iron Valiant: I was wrong.
Miraidon: I need help.
Iron Bundle: Worcestershire sauce.
Iron Bundle: Well, I'm very sorry to hear about your mother.
Flutter Mane: Mmm, we aren't really that close.
Iron Bundle: Oh, good.
Walking Wake: I mean. Slither Wing's just standing there now.
Walking Wake: Waiting for me, I guess.
Walking Wake: But it's okay, I think they've pretty much settled down.
Iron Jugulis: Settled down?
Walking Wake: Well, they only stabbed me once.
Roaring Moon: You believe me?
Miraidon: Roaring Moon, you’re the last good person on this planet. I‘d believe cartoon birds braided your hair this morning.
Iron Crown: Like they say, "If you can't beat them, curl up in a ball and protect your organs."
Iron Leaves: I’m Iron Leaves. I’m an accountant.
Great Tusk: I’m Great Tusk. I have a knife.
Flutter Mane: I don’t think the therapist is supposed to say ‘wow’ that many times during their first session with a client, but here we are.
Scream Tail: Aww, what's your dog's name?
Iron Moth: Spartacus.
Slither Wing, yelling to Sandy Shocks: TRY SPARTACUS!
Sandy Shocks, on the computer: DIDN'T WORK!
Iron Moth:
Scream Tail: What's your favorite number?
Iron Thorns: I've met a lot of "Ricks" in my time, but you, Iron Valiant, are a *fricking* cactus.
I had no idea what to change that to so I guess Iron Valiant is Rick
This gives me the mental image of them doing the Rick and Morty 100 years monologue lmaoooooooo
Koraidon: Sorry it took so long to bail you out of jail.
Iron Thorns: No, it was my fault. I shouldn't have used my phone call to prank call the police station.
*Iron Boulder falls over*
Walking Wake: Iron Boulder! Are you alright?
Iron Boulder: Is that you, God?
Walking Wake: What?
Iron Boulder: It's just, you sound a lot more like Walking Wake than I expected.
Scream Tail: *walks to cabinet, removes oreo box, takes half a sleeve, throws empty box out* Hi!
Iron Thorns: Hey- what are you doing-?
Scream Tail, shoving an oreo into their mouth: I am saving space :D
Kidnapper: I have your partner.
Iron Valiant: What? I don't have a partner...
Kidnapper: Then who just called me a lowlife *witch* and spit in my face?
Iron Valiant: Oh my god, you have Gouging Fire.
Iron Leaves: Strawberry milk doesn’t taste like strawberry OR milk.
Iron Crown: Go the *frick* to sleep Iron Leaves.
Slither Wing: You know I think my life has value.
Iron Crown: Who are you and what have you done with Slither Wing?!
Iron Thorns: Why don't Pokemon have a specific noise that means "there are bees here, let's leave immediately." Why are elephants more advanced than us.
Iron Moth: We do have a specific noise for it. It sounds like this:I
ron Moth: "There are bees here, let's leave immediately."
Iron Valiant, to Flutter Mane: If you can ever manage to get over yourself, I would highly recommend being me.
Iron Bundle: Hello, I'm Iron Bundle. I work at a shop now. Here to help. Look, they gave me a badge with my name on it in case I forget it. Very helpful, as that does happen.
Iron Bundle is slowly becoming my favorite
Slither Wing: Hey, Roaring Moon, have you thought about having children?Roaring Moon: ...
Roaring Moon: Does looking over you and the others not seem like I already do? Because I promise you, it sure feels like it.
Slither Wing: But we're not childr-
Roaring Moon, already distracted: SCREAM TAIL, PUT THE FIRE DOWN!