Ace: Ladies and gentlemen! Boys and girls! And everyone else who ain't a lady, gentleman, boy, or girl! Come one come all! Welcome to the battle of the century!
Bel: We just had an exciting battle the other day. Remember? We had the Smile Pretty Cures vs the Go Princess Pretty Cures.
Ace: Stop making up stories, will you?
Bel: Fine. But today, we have an even more exciting story! It's Alola's LIGHT TRIO against Galar's GALAR TRIO!
Ace: Let's meet our competitors!
Ace: First we got the Light Trio! You guys can come out now!
Necrozma: Gokigen'yō everyone! I am Necrozma, the god of light itself. I'm the master of the Light Trio, and I'm also a part of it. I'm a pretty big deal, more so than my best friend.
Solgaleo: Hey, wassup? Name's Solgaleo, and I'm the god of the sun. I'm awesomer than anyone on this battlefield. Now's the time for accomplishing this worthy task: being awesome!
Lunala: Hello, I'm Lunala. I'm the god of the moon. I may look dark, but I'm way more than I seem. So today, we are gonna get out there and prove to everyone!
Light Trio: Light Trio! Let's fight!
Bel: And now we got the Galar Trio! Come out, come out, wherever you are!
Eternatus: I'm Eternatus! Former bad guy, and currently a good guy! My best friend can be a literal god, but that doesn't stop us from being the awesomest! GALAR FOR LIFE!
Zacian: The name's Zacian. Those guys can be gods, but we can be better! Better than ever!
Zamazenta: AWOOOO! I'm Zamazenta! We can be servants, but we are ultimately superior! GALAR!
Zacian: I'm your sword
Zamazenta: I'm your shield
Eternatus: You really expect me to think of something that rhymes with shield?
Galar Trio: Galar For Life!
Necrozma: PHOTON GEYSER
Eternatus: ETERNABEAM
Ace: Whoa whoa whoa, I didn't even call for it to-
Necrozma and Eternatus: CHAAAARRRGGGGEEEEE!
*Both attacks collide.*
Ace: Start.
Necrozma: *repeatedly slashing Eternatus*
Eternatus: Ha! You can't beat me! *dodges every attack*
Necrozma: *still slashing ruthlessly*
Eternatus: *fires off a cannon*
*Necrozma took the hit, getting slammed in the face by the cannonball.*
Necrozma: WHAT WAS THAT FOR?! *raises arm in pain*
Eternatus: DYNAMAX CANNON
Necrozma: PRISMATIC LASER
Eternatus: You're out of power already? I thought you were stronger than this, FRIEND.
Necrozma: Am I just a friend to you?
#Solgaleo: SUNSTEEL STRIKE
Zacian: BEHEMOTH BLADE
Solgaleo: *rams into Zacian*
Zacian: *stabs Solgaleo*
Solgaleo: *falls to the ground* Stupid, stupid blade.
Zacian: HAHAHA you're just so weak.
Solgaleo: SUNSTEEL STRIKE AGAIN
Zacian: BEHEMOTH BLADE AGAIN
Solgaleo: *repeatedly ramming into Zacian*
Zacian: *dodging* I'm so good that you can't defeat me!
Lunala: MOONGEIST BEAM
Zamazenta: BEHEMOTH BASH
Lunala: *forms shadow shield*
Zamazenta: Hey! That's illegal!
Lunala: Everything's fine! That's why I'm forming shadow shields!
Zamazenta: *ramming into Lunala* TEN-HUT! *rams ten times*
Lunala: *calmly shielding*
Zamazenta: How-
Ace: Necrozma ain't faring well against Eternatus.
Bel: Solgaleo ain't faring well against Zacian.
Ace: But look at Lunala! You go, girl!
Bel: It just seems like she can defeat anyone!
Ace: Let's ask her afterwards!
Bel: And now, for our halftime segment!
Bel: Who's that Pokemon?
Ace: Looks like a mashup of our six brawlers.
Bel: It's... a creature with Solgaleo's feet, Lunala's wings, Necrozma's jetpack, Zacian's sword, Zamazenta's shield body, and Eternatus' tail!
Ace: Looks rather crazy, if you ask me.
Bel: Commercial time!
Men: Porky Sausages! The best sausages in the land!
Women: Porky Sausages! You can eat them with your hands!
Men: Eat them with a spoon
Women: Eat them with a fork
Men: No matter how you eat them
Women: It's still fresh pork!
Men: Eat them on a plate
Women: Eat them in a bowl
Men: Eat so many sausages
Women: Or not at all!
Men: Eat them with your hands
Women: Eat them with your feet
Men and women: Porky Sausages can't be beat!
Bel: Well! That was a fun little song!
Ace: I know, Bel. You don't need to acknowledge that. We all know, in fact.
Bel: Why would someone want to eat sausages with their feet?
Ace: No one knows.
Bel: Let's cut back to a la gangstas.
Solgaleo: Z-Powers, Activate!
Zacian: Intrepid Sword!
Solgaleo: SEARING SUNRAZE...
Zacian: BEHEMOTH BLADE
Solgaleo: SMASH!
Zacian: Whaaaaaaa...
Solgaleo: Told you so!
Lunala: Z-Powers, Activate!
Zamazenta: Dauntless Shield!
Lunala: MENACING
Zamazenta: I'm not scared!
Lunala: MOONRAZE
Zamazenta: Not a word.
Lunala: MAELSTROM!
Zamazenta: ohmyarceuswhatshappeningthoughtiwasfinesoyeahwhyamisoweak
Lunala: Did I scare you off your chair?
Eternatus: THE DARKNESS OF ETERNITY
Necrozma: ULTRA POWERS ACTIVATE
Eternatus: Meet the Eternamax!
Necrozma: Meet Ultra Necrozma!
Eternatus: And with all that said...
Necrozma: Summoning Solgaleo and Lunala!
Solgaleo and Lunala: Yes, master!
Necrozma: LIGHT THAT BURNS THE SKY!!!
Eternatus: Now, what's this here?
Necrozma: *becomes a giant demon*
Eternatus: A little demon never scared me!
Necrozma: *sighs, hugs Eternatus*
Eternatus: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Necrozma: I love you.
*And everything becomes good again.*
Ace: Wow! That was-
*Necrozma falls backwards, defeated.*
Solgaleo: What-
*Eternatus also falls backwards, defeated.*
Zacian: Master, you ok?
Eternatus: What happened?
Bel: And with that said, we can declare a winner!
Lunala: But both masters are defeated, and the rest of us are still standing.
Bel: It's a draw! Catch you next time on-
Zamazenta: You don't even have a name for the show.
Ace and Bel: Goodbye everyone!
Eternatus: Where's Necrozma?
All: I don't know, ok?
Necrozma: *wakes up* What a weird dream I had!
Eternatus: I had a dream where we were in a fight with each other.
Necrozma: Wait, we had the same dream?
Eternatus: wut
Necrozma: The end!
Eternatus: Hey! We can't go without a reasonable ending to the story!
Necrozma: I said, the end!
Eternatus: You can't randomly declare an ending!
Necrozma: Ok, the end. For real this time.