Maxie: I just got the best idea I've ever had in my entire life!
*Later*
Archie, to Maxie: That was the worst idea you’ve ever had in your entire life.
(Static)
*Archie is cleaning the house and they find an empty bottle of orange juice*
Archie: Clear orange juice?
Archie: Oh, it's empty.
Maxie, who has been watching the entire time: I live with an idiot. I live with an idiot. I live with an idiot.
(Static)
Maxie: Is that a gun?!
Archie: It's not what it looks like!
Maxie: It looks like a gun!
Archie: Okay, maybe it is what it looks like, but in my defense, it doesn't have anymore bullets, so I technically can't shoot it anymore.
Maxie: ...ANYMORE?!
(Static)
Maxie: Archie is not allowed to decide which one of us is the chosen one.
(Static)
Maxie: How are you gonna carve a gigantic pumpkin?
Archie: The same way I make onion rings!
Archie: *grabs a chainsaw*
(Static)
Tabitha, to Courtney: Well, one of us has to be wrong and it’s not going to be me.
(Static)
Maxie: You’re not ascending to godhood, you’re just dehydrated.
Archie: Outta my way, gayboy! I’m about to liberate myself from this mortal shell!
*later*
Archie, texting Maxie: hopital
(Static)
Matt, on the phone with Archie: Oh, hey bro! Sorry for accusing you of murder last week.
(Static)
Archie: Vegetable oil is made from vegetables, coconut oil is made from coconuts, so BABY OIL-
Maxie: CAN'T WE JUST HAVE A NICE FAMILY DINNER FOR ONCE?!
(Static)
Archie: God has let me live another day and I'm going to make it everyone's problem.
Primal Kyogre: Not for long.
(Static)
Tabitha: So when are we gonna tell them?
Shelly: Just give them a minute.
Archie: *Pulling on a door that clearly says push.*
(Static)
Archie: Why are you wearing glasses?
Maxie: Uhm… reading…?
Archie: Reading?
Archie: I didn’t know you could read.
(Static)
Maxie: There's a thin line between being a genius and a idiot. Archie uses that line like a (mightyena cry) jump rope.
(Static)
Archie: If karma doesn't hit you, I (Kyogre cry) will.
(Static)
Maxie, at Archie ’s funeral: I need a moment with them.
Everyone else at the funeral: Of course. *leaves*
Maxie, leaning over Archie ’s coffin: Okay, listen here you little (Crobat cry). I know you’re not dead.
Archie , sitting up in the coffin: Yeah, no (Sharpedo cry).
(Static)
Courtney: You know, I really wish you’d just admit you made a mistake sometimes.
Shelly, stirring their coffee: I prefer it with salt.
(Static)
(I'll do more next time)
